


Just a Spare

by Desbelleschoses



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Gen, Jealousy, Miscommunication, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, foot-in-mouth disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 15:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9827111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desbelleschoses/pseuds/Desbelleschoses
Summary: Riza’s sick, Ed is disappointed, and Jean can’t keep himself together. Oneshot.





	

Edward never dreamed that it was possible. He was frozen in shock as he stood in the doorway, looking in on his new comrades. It hadn’t been long since he had been placed under Mustang’s command, but it wasn’t difficult to pick up on the group dynamic. It was eerily silent in the office, pencils scratching over paper. His golden eyes surveyed the room, stunned when he saw that the lieutenant was missing. Every time she left the office, he had known the others to shirk their responsibilities. But there they were, working away at their desks like she had threatened them on one of her short-tempered days.

He stepped cautiously across the threshold, his meta leg thunking on the hollow floor. “Alright, what gives?” he demanded without so much as a hello.

“Ah, Fullmetal. Have you brought me your report?” Roy asked indifferently, reciting a script he had become accustomed to.

“I’m working on it,” Ed brushed off. “Where’s the lieutenant? And why are you all acting so weird?”

“Lieutenant Hawkeye is out sick today,” Roy informed his wayward subordinate. “And we are working on a proposal that we’ve been preparing for months. So, if you have nothing to report-”

“Bullshit.”

Roy looked at the red-cloaked boy blankly.

“Bull. Shit. What did you do?”

“What the hell do you mean, ‘what did I do?’” The colonel shot back, his voice no longer steady. Damn this little runt…

“Easy there, tiger,” Jean interrupted, taking his feet off his desk. “We _are_ capable of acting like adults, you know. Ree’s caught the stomach flu. The only way she’d stay home is if we promised to finish the proposal, and that was after we pushed her mask-wearing, zombie ass out of the office.” Kain gaped at Jean, who shrugged. It’s not like he wouldn’t have said that to her face.

Ed’s bravado fell as he realized that he wasn’t being lied to. “Oh.”

“What is it, Fullmetal?” Roy asked, looking up from his work.

“Well, Al and I wanted to do something nice for her birthday. Give her a present, you know? ‘Cause we’re headed out tomorrow for Central.”

It was easy to forget that Ed was only twelve years old. It wasn’t surprising that the two boys had latched onto Riza. At the moment, she was the most consistent, authoritative female presence that they had. Roy believed that the boys needed to toughen up. His own parents had died when he was young, and Chris wasn’t exactly an affectionate mother figure. Add to that what he had seen at the Hawkeye household, and he found it difficult to sympathize.

“Just leave it on her desk,” Roy suggested. “She should be back to work on Monday.”

“Yeah,” Ed relented. He stuck his hand into the pocket of his cloak and withdrew an impressively poorly-wrapped gift, which he set on the lieutenant’s desk. He jumped when he heard a sharp whistle.

“Here ya go, kid.” Jean tossed something into the air at him. Ed reflexively reached out and caught it. When he opened his fist, a silver key glinted against his white glove.

“What’s this?”

“Spare key.” Jean tucked his keyring back into his pocket. “Bring her some soup or something, while you’re at it.”

Ed was confused, but his hopes were back up, which was more than enough to brush that from his mind. “Thanks, Lieutenant Havoc!” He snatched the package off of Riza’s desk and ran out into the hall. “Hey, Al!”

“Don’t worry about bringing it back! I’ll get it later!” Jean called after the kid. He chuckled to himself and busied himself lighting a cigarette.

“Lieutenant Havoc?”

“Hmm?” Jean turned to his commanding officer.

“Why do you have a key to Lieutenant Hawkeye’s apartment?”

The air in the room became oppressively heavy. Jean needed to choose his next few words very carefully.

“Because she gave me one.”

Swing, and a miss.

“And I assume Lieutenant Catalina has one, as well?”

Jean shrugged. “Maybe?” When he finally met the colonel’s accusing gaze, he bristled. “I don’t get why you’re giving me the third degree here.”

“It’s very suspicious for a subordinate to have a key to his commanding officer’s residence.”

Jean arched a single eyebrow. _Are you fucking kidding me right now, Mustang?_   “Ree has one for yours.”

“That’s different. She’s my adjutant. And her _name_ is Lieutenant Hawkeye.”

“If it bothers you so damned bad, why don’t you give yours back to her, too? It’s the same thing.” After a moment of silence, Jean couldn’t control his smirk. “Unless you don’t have one.”

“That’s completely irrelevant!”

“Sooo, you don’t, then.”

“At least I’m acting in propriety!”

It suddenly dawned on Jean that his commanding officer was taking this far more seriously than he was. “Relax, Mustang. We all know the rules, right?” It was too late to cover his tracks when he realized what he was insinuating. “Not like that matters, though.” Shit!

“Damn, Jean,” Heymans added, astonished.

“No, that’s not what I meant!” Jean began to become frantic. He was all too aware that he wasn’t helping his own case. He let out a cry of frustration, tearing at his own hair.

Roy hadn’t said a word. Oh, god, he was going to be lit on fire. This was how he was going to die. Flambeed for his own stupidity.

He and Riza were undeniably close, but it had been a long time since he had any sort of romantic feelings for her. Sure, he had a crush at one point, but who would blame him? She was more of a bro than anything else! It was almost like thinking about sleeping with his own sister. Well, he didn’t have a sister, but he assumed that this would be what that would be like – stop!

Roy measured his tone as he handpicked his next words. “Lieutenant Havoc, do I need to consider reassignment for you to another chain of command.”

“No! It’s not like that! She’s like my hot sister!” Oh god, he wanted to die. Where was Riza when he needed her? She would have stopped him long before he got to this point. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Caught the stomach flu, did you, there, Jean?” Heymans joked before he could stop himself.

Jean just groaned and let his head fall onto his desk. “May I please be excused for the day?” he mumbled into the wood.

“Dismissed.”


End file.
